Saturday, August 22, 2009
6:55 PM
its the first day of fasting today.
to all muslim people in the world,
selamat berpuase.
i woke up at 430am today, excited.
wanted to cook rice and goreng telor.
but fried rice instead.
with ikan bilis, chicken franks, and egg.
my bro, ungrateful, as usual, said it was too salty.
and he said the milo i made was too sweet.
*shrugs.
nothing i do seem right i guess.
i went back to sleep and woke at 12+ again feeling excited.
i asked uncle alvin to drill for me my racks last night and spent hours kemasing my room.
its still messy though, still upgrading.
but i couldnt wait to show it to you.
im reading an amazing book titled silent sisters.
and right now, i feel like im in Jenny's shoes.
hooked, on Keith who is an abuser but still she finds it so hard to leave him.
he is the drug she is addicted to.
on other days, i feel like Kim, Jenny's younger sister.
happy, with a man who she loves and who dotes on her.
a sweet couple deeply in love.
so much like in a fairytale.
today, i experienced a feeling i thought i never would have to feel again.
it was extreme pain and disappointment.
i've often thought of resigning to fate.
but still, i chose to follow my heart.
its difficult to explain, the stupid things i do, stupid choices i make.
time and time again, achieving nothing but sadness.
i feel lonely.
jaded.
its 6:53pm now.
almost time to break fast,
selamat berbuke everyone.